Kong Hokkien Jin Ho*

Tiong kim wa oh lang ki ji eh "Internet" eh ming kia chuay ji eh char bor boh cheng sar eh tor. Dan si hor? Kan ni na, ai heng lui eh. Wa ar boh ji eh "credit card". Buay sai kuah liao. Zhun pi si kan puah sian ar...

Buay yao kin lah. Wa chuay tio ji eh cheebye kia eh simi ming kia... Tiong kim eh siao lian lang si bei ai sng eh "Internet" eh ming kia. Ehhh.. kio simi ar? Ehhh... tio tio, ji eh ming kia kio "blog".

Hmm chai lah. Lu woo si kan ki kuah kuah, pian ho lah. Eh sai jin por li eh Hokkien eh buay pai. Hor?

Wa si Hokkien lang. Si bei tok kong.

*Translated into Queen's English:
Speaking Hokkien Is Really Swell
On this fine day, I was following in the footsteps of many others before me to go on this device called the Internet to procure pictures of females in their birthday suits. But? God dealt me a bad hand. Curses, you would have to pay for such services. A gentleman like me would naturally have no means of cashless payment like a credit card. That left me bereft of any entertainment and utterly bored out of my wits...

However, that proved to be no consequences at that moment. I managed to seek out something pretty much delightful and peculiar belonging to this little ruffian. I very much believe these things are the fancy of the day for the young in these modern times. What are they called? Ah, I should strongly think they are referred as "blogs".

Well, I'm quite uncertain on how good people like yourself will take to this piece of writing. However, it is of good quality. Perhaps, you might even venture to use the works to improve your Hokkien?

I am a Hokkien person. Jolly good.